(no subject)

So I called my mom today to ask her what a "tangelo" is and whether it is good eating ("some kind of tangerine orange thing, and sure, I guess, it's kind of sweet") and I found out that Grandma's in the hospital again and might die. The hospital and the nursing home didn't even TELL us. They found out when Grandma called the house herself. What the hell? And the hospital is refusing to call and let us know when Grandma goes into surgery, which is ridiculous because even under the new privacy acts - Mom has power of attorney and medical guardianship and all of that, so she DOES have the right to know. I'm sure my Dad's super worried about it, but he was at work when I called.

Grandma's a crotchety old woman, and she can be mean, spiteful and even downright hateful. But she's still my grandmother, who used to make me pudding and kept a fresh box of 48 Crayolas around her house and gave me free Avon stuff and told me stories about ice-skating in Scranton, PA with her sister Norma when they were girls...

It's not an utter surprise that she's in the hospital. She's been in crappy health for years and it's her own damn fault for refusing to follow the doctors' orders. She's diabetic and doesn't take care of her diet or blood sugar or feet; she had a massive hernia and waited until it was the size of a set of quintuplets impregnated over her hip before she got it looked at; she's had blockages and problems with her intestines ever since, and that's what it is this time. Apparently they have to have surgery to fix the latest blockage and they think some of her intestines have twisted up where the hernia used to be, and died. So Grandma's future depends on how much intestine they have to remove to fix her...

It won't be a surprise if she dies, like I said. I probably won't be spun into a horrible depression, but I will be very sad and cry quite a bit. I wish I'd taken the opportunity this Christmas to do as I've wanted to for years and asked her to write down or record on tape the stories of her life, so I could keep them for the future generations... if she makes it through this surgery, I'm writing her a letter requesting it, finally. She will die eventually but I don't want her stories to die with her.

If she dies I won't be able to go to the funeral. Mom says they don't expect me to; they'll keep an empty chair and prop a phone up on it so I can hear the service.

(no subject)

I wish I could do something about the quality of the light in my bedroom. The overhead fixture is a combination four-lamp hanging light and ceiling fan, and the light is very harsh and bright. I wish I had something less direct and more muted. I wonder if I could mount some kind of (non-flammable) diffusing material over the mouths of the lamps.

I am looking for a Brownie Target Six-20 which I will convert to work with modern 120 roll film. It will be my "periscope camera," confusing people with its antique-shoebox look ("you can't possibly still USE those old things, can you?") and waist-level viewfinder ("you can't possibly be taking a picture with it that far from your face, can you?"). They're relatively cheap if you can find 'em at antiques stores or flea markets (because their only real value is as dust-gatherers*) and if I somehow manage to break it I can replace it and keep the old one as a rather attractive shelf-sitter.

* For most people, it's not worth the time and effort of making a Brownie usable. They're nothing more than the antique version of those $5 cameras made entirely of plastic that you can pick up at Walmart; not a single thing about them is adjustable, from the focus to the exposure. The film they were made to use is no longer manufactured, and while there is a modern film which is pretty much the exact same thing on a different roll, you either have to go to the trouble of re-spooling the new film onto old spools, or (as I plan to do) deform the camera's innards to force it to accept the new spools. Since they were so ubiquitous for decades, their value as an antique or a curiosity is practically nil. And even the more decorative examples are basically just plain black boxes with metal chasing on the front.

I intend to get one and use it BECAUSE of that.

This is just a reminder....

Next Saturday, January 31, is Canton First Monday Trade Days. We need to decide when and where we're going to meet up (and with whom!). Justin and I have never been before, and I know hanauma hasn't either - tiredstarling, have you? Are we all still up for meeting up over there, even if it's just long enough to grab lunch at a food booth or something? Is anybody else coming?