titus n. owl

Engineer: i bet there's a pool
Engineer: 'when will one shag the other'
lechuza: THE WAY IT HAPPENED:
lechuza: It was because of those bloody tents.( Read more... )

Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: man i suck at playing shortstop
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: it's a tough position
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: shortstop's stupid shootygun takes forever to rebullet
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: rebullet?
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: rebullet???
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: yeah because he has to like
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: pump the stick
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: to make it rebullet
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: the scattergun doesn't have bullets
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: it has shells
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: ....of all the stupid things i'm saying
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: you chose that one
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i lolled
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: I love your words Owl
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: call
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i hear a lot of people complain about the fireman's lighter
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and they say they run out of petrol for it
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but i never run out of petrol for my lighter
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: v(._.)v
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: me the problem is that the lighter, you know, you have to be right next to the thing
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and i have my mousewheel to make the switchy
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but i always end up overwheeling
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and instead of getting the boomstick
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i get the hatchet
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and the hatchet doesn't help when you're trying to shoot a colored man who is farther away than your lighter :C
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: those fucking colored men blow me up all the time
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: um
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: you sound like Abe Simpson
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: with their fucking katamaris
Fredrick says, "ебать!": I think it's hilarious that the fireman's hatchet can take out an oblivious enemy faster than the flamethrower
Fredrick says, "ебать!": THEY ARE NOT KATAMARIS
Fredrick says, "ебать!": THEY ARE BUMBLE-BALLS
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: oh right
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: What the fuck are you playing Owl?
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: sorry :3c i get my words mixed up sometimes
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but yeah the fireman's hatchet you can hit somebody two times and boom
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: if you get a Super Good Hit with your hatchet you can kil lthem right away sometimes
Fredrick says, "ебать!": ..what's the name for the burce?
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: does the lighter ever have Super Good Hits?
Fredrick says, "ебать!": YEs.
Fredrick says, "ебать!": Long ones.
Fredrick says, "ебать!": If you're ever standing with a Food Box and playing as the fireman, using the lighter constantly, sometimes you'll hear the electricity going "fsschshcshshdhhhschwa" for about 2.5 seconds straight
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: crocodile dundee pisses me off
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: because you die and then you see crocodile dundee and he's like all the way over on the other side of the world
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: what the fuck
Fredrick says, "ебать!": waving at you
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\: i'm lost
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i played as crocodile dundee once in a two people game with wol
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and i never used my telescope gun
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i just used the quickshooty
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: because you can rebullet it really fast
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and i like that
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: teh telescope gun puts dots on things too and then she saw it
Fredrick says, "ебать!": I don't like the telescopegun having the nut-movement rebullet mechanism
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: so i just used the quickshooty
Lord Anubis/=TFZ=\ left chat.
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: oh yeah that's the other problem with the telescope gun, the rebullet every single time and it takes forever :C
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: hahaha anubis isn't very bright is he
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: if he couldn't follow this
Fredrick says, "ебать!": (((we're faggots)))
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i've never done standing-up-close fighting with crocodile dundee
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: so i don't know if his steak knife is any good
Fredrick says, "ебать!": His steak knife is VERY good
Fredrick says, "ебать!": one crit will take out a sneakyman at full life
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: is a crit a Super Good Hit?
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: yeah
Fredrick says, "ебать!": Yeah
Fredrick says, "ебать!": (((Dammit)))
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: oh ok
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: do you ever play as the rocket man?
Fredrick says, "ебать!": PACKED HIS BAGS
Fredrick says, "ебать!": PREFLIGHT
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: No I suck as Shatner
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i don't like playing as the rocket man because he walks really slow
Fredrick says, "ебать!": NEONATAL HOUSEFLY
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: XD
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: call
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i forget what his second weapon is
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: he has the rocket gun and he has the diggy stick
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: fat boy has fisticuffs
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and a tank gun
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: wol usually plays as a construction worker
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: she's a pretty good construction worker because she knows good places to put robot guns
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but you have to put your lunchbox down first
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and she forgets to do that
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i have to say that even though i like the sneakythief a lot
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i don't play him very well
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i have never ever managed to put the little boombox on a robot gun
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: even when i go indivisibles :C
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i don't htink going indivisibles works on robot guns
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i think they still see you
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: Me too
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: those robot guns and there seeing eyes
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but if you are only playing with two people and the other person is a construction worker you can't pretend to be in their club
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: they're
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: they'll know that you're not them!
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: so what do you do to make the robot gun go away?
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i am a terrible sneakythief :C
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: but it is fun to poke people in their behinds
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and sneakythief does that a lot <:3c
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: he has a leathermans
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: for poking people
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: XD
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i think the sneakyman should be able to like
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: throw a blanket on top of a robot gun
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: to make its seeing eye not work
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: also i think it's funny that the nazi and the fat boy are boyfriends
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: nazi is what wol plays when she gets tired of being a construction worker
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: Oh man. I know
Ensign Spazz B. Spazzbot IV: Don't they know you can get cooties!
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: i always play fireman so she goes nazi and she follows me around
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and she gives me healings
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: with her band-aid gun
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and then we go indestructibles
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: and i get lost :C
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: everything goes shiny blue when you're indestructibles
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: it's confusing
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: ALSO I HATE NAZI'S DART GUN
Owl O. de l'Owlet, Lord Blaney: those darts fucking fall down :C

me: he killed three men to get that drumstick - their blood is spattered on his shirt - and now this woman is insisting upon presenting her buttocks when all he wishes to do is dine
other: I'm thinking it's a bbq sauce made from the blood of the men he killed, which the drumstick then was marinated in.
me: and now this woman, she farts on his head
me: why do you fart on my head? he asks
me: i want only to eat this drumstick marinated in the blood of the men i have killed
me: i do not ask for farts on my head
other: Oh, but it's a greeting native to her country.
me: this was not outlined in his pre-mission briefing
other: his superiors know.  they're actually laughing at him right now.
me: those bastards
other: too right
me: even as he looks at her and attempts not to inhale too deeply lest he be put off his drumstick, he is attempting to frame his report in his mind
me: "Do I mention this head-farting?"
other: ".. No.  They'll talk about it for WEEKS around the water-cooler."
me: he gets back and hands in the report, sans head-farting, and they drop hints - "how did you enjoy the native hospitality?"
other:  And then he kills them and marinates a turkey in their blood-bbq-sauce.  And eats it.  After cooking, of course, because we don't want any diseases.
me: He's had to switch agencies a lot.
(the peanut gallery): the correct response is not "it STANK" because that is a terrible pun.
me: he sure does like his blood-bbq-sauce - is he a vampire, or just strange?
other: I think he's one of those vampire-enthusiasts who pretend to be vampires.
other: With the ceramic fangs.
other: from Hot Topic.
me: and yet he's very good at being a secret agent otherwise, so it's just kind of accepted.
me: "oh, yeah, he thinks he's a vampire.  good guy, though."
other: "The cape around the office is kind of weird."
me: "oh, is that why he's always late to work - like, won't go out in the sun or something?" "no, that's just because he keeps taking the B train instead of the D and ends up having to walk the last six blocks."
me: (it's a very laid-back secret agent office. in manhattan.)
other: Secret Squirrel is their mascot?
me: entirely.
me: he keeps petitioning to change it to a bat
me: "Bats are very detectivey.  Batman, for instance, is a detective."
me: "We all know it's because you think you're a vampire, Jack."

Jeffie: koalas are basically retardeder ewoks!
Jen: hahaha
Jeffie: and ewoks, as we all know, are the larval form of the wookiee
Jen: AHAHAHA
Jen: koalas are retarded ewoks WITH THE DOWNS ON TOP
Jeffie: similarly, the earth koala enters into its chrysalis stage when it reaches five years of age, and emerges as a yeti.
Jen: hahaha
Jen: does the chlamydia prevent such things? is that why it's such a problem?
Jeffie: yes, it interferes with their spinnarets
Jeffie: so that they cannot make a proper coccoon
Jen: roflmao
Jeffie: occasionally an enterprising chlamydic koala successfully coccoons inside a vacationer's sleeping bag; in such cases, the emergent yeti invariable eats the hiker, and the australian government hushes it up for fear of impacting tourism.
Jen: HAHAHAHA

  dude: next time you're in nyc call a brother up, yo 
  justin: we can try to get kicked out of tony bourdain's restaurant! if he's there, we can try to get him kicked out of it with us! 
  dude: i've thrown up in the bathroom of morimoto 
  me: would've been better if you'd thrown up ON morimoto 
  dude: i doubt i could have identified morimoto 
  me: he's the big fat one
  dude: all those people look the same to me 
  justin: racist
  me: no no see 
  me: he's the big fat one 
  me: that's how you know him 
  me: just puke on ALL the fat ones 
  me: until one of them says I'M MORIMOTO WHAT YOU DO

[18:31] Psmith-mun: i was at school
[18:32] Psmith-mun: but really
[18:32] Psmith-mun: it was my mom's house.
[18:32] Psmith-mun: but i was SUPPOSED to be going to homeroom.
[18:32] Psmith-mun: it was, i guess, high school
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and i was supposed to be figuring out where i wanted to go to college
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and mom was fussing
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and i was pointing out that i couldn't really pick
[18:32] Psmith-mun: until i knew where justin was going to be working
[18:32] Psmith-mun: 'cause we were going to be moving
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and i was looking up schools on the internet
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and this was making me late for homeroom
[18:32] Psmith-mun: and i decided fuck it
[18:32] Psmith-mun: who needs to go to homeroom anyway
[18:33] Psmith-mun: and first period was maths
[18:33] Psmith-mun: but i didn't want to go to maths either, i suck at maths
[18:33] Psmith-mun: and i figured college was more important
[18:33] Psmith-mun: so i was in - i don't even know WHAT it was in the dream
[18:33] Psmith-mun: some kind of dorm
[18:33] Psmith-mun: and i wasi n the bedroom on the computer, and they were watching House on tv in the living room which i could see from my door
[18:33] Psmith-mun: and i was like "wtf why is house on at seven in the morning."
[18:34] Psmith-mun: and they said "it's a special house"
[18:34] Psmith-mun: what was going on was the cop guy needed medicines.
[18:34] Psmith-mun: and he wouldn't let house do the medicines
[18:34] Psmith-mun: unless house did the medicines too.
[18:34] Psmith-mun: and by "the medicines" i mean some kind of really weird thing
[18:34] Psmith-mun: like how they take core samples for drilling
[18:34] Psmith-mun: and they pull out the core and they're like "ok it's sediment X deep and then you hit the oil"
[18:34] Psmith-mun: but they were taking core samples of their bodies
[18:34] Psmith-mun: with a giant hypodermic needle
[18:35] Psmith-mun: that htey had to shove down their throats
[18:35] Psmith-mun: and the cop guy didn't want to do it so he made house do it too.
[18:35] Psmith-mun: and it apparently didn't HURT it was just kind of icky
[18:35] Psmith-mun: and so they were doing core samples of their own throats
[18:35] Psmith-mun: and foreman came in
[18:36] Psmith-mun: and foreman was very upset about it
[18:36] Psmith-mun: because somehow having house do it to
[18:36] Psmith-mun: was a violation of ethics.
[18:36] Psmith-mun: and i ended up getting so absbored in watching this special house
[18:36] Psmith-mun: that i stopped looking up colleges.
[18:36] Psmith-mun: the college i was looking at was blue and gold
[18:36] Psmith-mun: that's all i remember of it
[18:36] Psmith-mun: it was blue and gold and somewhere in the midwest
[18:37] Psmith-mun: and i was not sure if i wanted to go there or to st louis but HEY A SPECIAL HOUSE.
[18:37] Psmith-mun: and then i was late for first period.
[18:37] Psmith-mun: and then i woke up.

Although I am the only person on the internet who has ever read "The Saint" and thought of slashiness, I am gratified to learn I'm not the only one who has had such thoughts while reading "The Long Goodbye.

 [01:33] Psmith-mun: you know every time i pick up my chandler books i am struck again by how goddamn emo marlowe is
 [01:35] Zabbers: it's part of his charm?
 [01:36] Psmith-mun: he's all tough guy on the outside and emo on the inside where he never lets it show (because that is the most emo thing of all!)
 [01:36] Psmith-mun: like
 [01:36] Psmith-mun: like a caramel filling
 [01:36] Psmith-mun: is the analogy that sprang to mind
 [01:36] Psmith-mun: MARLOWE IS A TWINKIE ONLY THE FILLING IS MADE OF EMO
 [01:37] Zabbers: though maybe he's more of a mars bar?
 [01:37] Psmith-mun: or like
 [01:38] Psmith-mun: some kind of truffle
 [01:38] Zabbers: coz twinkies are awfully soft
 [01:38] Psmith-mun: with coconut on the outside
 [01:38] Zabbers: haha
 [01:38] Psmith-mun: to be spikey
 [01:38] Zabbers: what about that one with the coconut in
 [01:38] Zabbers: there's definitely a candy that's coconut on the inside
 [01:38] Zabbers: I don't really like it
 [01:38] Psmith-mun: no he is a dark chocolate truffle with spikey coconut stuff on top and the filling is made of bourbon and emo