![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
this is what i've been doing (well, this and band practice) instead of meeting online social obligations for about a month now. it's not finished but it's almost there - i have to write the big action/adventure sequence at the end and then bring it to a successful conclusion that leaves it open for sequels, since it was primarily envisioned as something cinematic.
it began as tf2 fanfic but it isn't really tf2 fanfic at all. i think all the information that's required to understand the setting can probably be inferred from what has been written. it's... kind of a humour piece, i suppose? character-driven genre satire
i took out the graphic sex for this post. :V
( The Fabulous Adventures of James & Bond, wip, part 1 )
it began as tf2 fanfic but it isn't really tf2 fanfic at all. i think all the information that's required to understand the setting can probably be inferred from what has been written. it's... kind of a humour piece, i suppose? character-driven genre satire
i took out the graphic sex for this post. :V
( The Fabulous Adventures of James & Bond, wip, part 1 )
more raocow
Oct. 14th, 2007 12:23 amOh, go eat a car.
I feel so special and filled with dental floss!
Unless I forgot what colours are, I recognize a white block.
For the love of midgets!
Something on the reflected helmet of justice
Don't get any ideas, because if you had ideas, well, all you'd need is money and you might get rich, and Lord knows I don't want that, God.
The power of light and music is quite enough to sustain the weight of a spinning midget.
You're not an artist unless you're starving... artists who make money are just owls with museums.
Coins and a Rex, the very definition of love and hate and peace
There is no communication between my mouth pieces and my thinking pieces. They were put together by a neckbeard who really had no idea of what he was doing.
Nobody's afraid of tree trunks. Car trunks are another story, you know, sometimes they have little girls that are locked away in them and that's kind of scary.
Mushrooms do require a remote control, but they're like embedded inside Mario's palm, so sometimes when he gets frisky and lonely mushrooms activate on and off on their own. Wow, I never thought I'd make that sort of comment ever before. Maybe not maybe so maybe not maybe so maybe not maybe sooooooo
I feel so special and filled with dental floss!
Unless I forgot what colours are, I recognize a white block.
For the love of midgets!
Something on the reflected helmet of justice
Don't get any ideas, because if you had ideas, well, all you'd need is money and you might get rich, and Lord knows I don't want that, God.
The power of light and music is quite enough to sustain the weight of a spinning midget.
You're not an artist unless you're starving... artists who make money are just owls with museums.
Coins and a Rex, the very definition of love and hate and peace
There is no communication between my mouth pieces and my thinking pieces. They were put together by a neckbeard who really had no idea of what he was doing.
Nobody's afraid of tree trunks. Car trunks are another story, you know, sometimes they have little girls that are locked away in them and that's kind of scary.
Mushrooms do require a remote control, but they're like embedded inside Mario's palm, so sometimes when he gets frisky and lonely mushrooms activate on and off on their own. Wow, I never thought I'd make that sort of comment ever before. Maybe not maybe so maybe not maybe so maybe not maybe sooooooo
ONE LAST DOSE OF RAOCOW
Oct. 4th, 2007 12:44 amThere's not really any logics here, is there?
This is confusopalooza!
Maybe I'll knock somebody on the head or something. Or something. Something is always good, or something.
Childrens are always dependable.
I can't fly away on the coattails of dreams and sorrows.
There's nothing to say about Yoshi, other than he is resistant to change.
There is a fish in a bubble, and that's how I define greatness. And there's a trampoline in a marshmallow, and that's how I would define breakfast.
I don't want a napple that came out of my horse's rear end. I may be unique in that sense, but I do have my principles that I wish to adhere to.
Join me next time where we go into a pig farm and laugh at them. Laugh at a pig, laugh at their misery. It's very awesome.
This is confusopalooza!
Maybe I'll knock somebody on the head or something. Or something. Something is always good, or something.
Childrens are always dependable.
I can't fly away on the coattails of dreams and sorrows.
There's nothing to say about Yoshi, other than he is resistant to change.
There is a fish in a bubble, and that's how I define greatness. And there's a trampoline in a marshmallow, and that's how I would define breakfast.
I don't want a napple that came out of my horse's rear end. I may be unique in that sense, but I do have my principles that I wish to adhere to.
Join me next time where we go into a pig farm and laugh at them. Laugh at a pig, laugh at their misery. It's very awesome.
RAOCOW THREE: ELECTRIC BUGABEE
Oct. 3rd, 2007 11:23 pmThose are frozen dudes, when you unfreeze them in de microwave they make their own gravy. They're like dog food, only sentient, vegetable, and they eat you instead.
Do not question foreign cultures, for they will magical powers and may destroy your soul. Don't trust me, trust General Motors. Not sure what they have to do with this, but, still, you can trust American car companies.
You're allowed to change the pronounce-iation. That's how the language works.
Now what do we trust, the landscape or the map? Now if you ask a 19th-century explorer, they're going to answer, "you trust the Bible." But, I'm, you can't always trust your Bible for your directionary needs.
You can see that my attention is focused like a laser beam. A wobbly laser beam. That is not very well calibrated. But a laser beam nonetheless.
You know I'm afraid of bright and colorful things. Put me in front of a multicolored skunk, and I'm going to be scared like the dickens.
Yeah, I get hit a lot. That's just how I roll.
Fruit roll-ups, they're part of a complete breakfast. Depending on your definition of complete.
Also remember to go to your recycling center to recycle your gold into green mushrooms.
You just don't do that. That's like hiring a maid and not sexually assaulting her.
Ooh, that was awesome. And that was just as anti-awesome.
Do not question foreign cultures, for they will magical powers and may destroy your soul. Don't trust me, trust General Motors. Not sure what they have to do with this, but, still, you can trust American car companies.
You're allowed to change the pronounce-iation. That's how the language works.
Now what do we trust, the landscape or the map? Now if you ask a 19th-century explorer, they're going to answer, "you trust the Bible." But, I'm, you can't always trust your Bible for your directionary needs.
You can see that my attention is focused like a laser beam. A wobbly laser beam. That is not very well calibrated. But a laser beam nonetheless.
You know I'm afraid of bright and colorful things. Put me in front of a multicolored skunk, and I'm going to be scared like the dickens.
Yeah, I get hit a lot. That's just how I roll.
Fruit roll-ups, they're part of a complete breakfast. Depending on your definition of complete.
Also remember to go to your recycling center to recycle your gold into green mushrooms.
You just don't do that. That's like hiring a maid and not sexually assaulting her.
Ooh, that was awesome. And that was just as anti-awesome.
MORE RAOCOW
Oct. 3rd, 2007 01:16 amThis is like Chaotic Central Zone on Eastern Standard Time!
What the hell, guy? What the hell?
Fireballs: nature's crumpet
Another place to investigate once I get that friggin e-quine of hell-ish persuasion
Have a block in the belly of your mouth
this is awkward
Little breathing room here, in case you want to breathe in a room
And God knows that I am a slave to Communism
Need to ride a bulldozer to happiness, soaring above the midnight sky
What the hell, guy? What the hell?
Fireballs: nature's crumpet
Another place to investigate once I get that friggin e-quine of hell-ish persuasion
Have a block in the belly of your mouth
this is awkward
Little breathing room here, in case you want to breathe in a room
And God knows that I am a slave to Communism
Need to ride a bulldozer to happiness, soaring above the midnight sky
IMMORTAL WORDS OF WISDOM FROM RAOCOW
Sep. 29th, 2007 06:45 pmCloudscapes, do not give up your dreams and follies, because we would not be as quite human if we were perfect like little snowflakes.
YOU FRIGGIN HORSE
Panicking is what being a man's all about.
You wish you could kill ghosts with silk. That's the American dream.
(To the ghosts:) You friggin spheres - beachballs! That's right, I just treated you beachballs, because that's what you friggin are!
Don't pull your tongue out at strangers! That's rude and unsightly!
Everyone has Football Charlies in their intestines, that's a medicinal fact. ("Intestines" rhymes with "lines," "medicinal" is "medicine-al.")
There's probably something good in there, so I'm not gonna get it. That's how raocow works.
Pipes aren't reliable floors. Remember that next time you're reconstructing your house for some reason.
STOP DYING! GOD!
Tacos were invented during Jesus Christ's reign over Mesopotamia.
HITTING THINGS AT RANDOM, HOPING FOR THE BEST
CHIPMUNK TIEM
Oh, curses, Santa Claus! Why must you poison our life so?
The Milky Cheese of the Moon - it sounds like a totally awesome metal song, but it's not.
Fungus McCloud was the one who originally discovered Newfoundland, but when we were about to give him his medal he kind of declined. He was a really really humble guy. A smart guy. He was a good pool player too. I had a lot of fun with him back in the 1700s, from whence I came. You know, you remember, I said that before - I kind of got lost in time there, and suddenly BAM, here I am in two thousand and something and playing video games.
With the power of imagination, you can do anything. You can be a rainbow. You can be a clown. You can kill a thousand sheep and not be mortally repressed.
Go eat a friggin' cow.
That's an important part of a complete breakfast, like cheerios, and canned desert things.
We are back in the great nature state and the astral thingies are having their revenge.
Ever higher! One day we might run out of oxygen, but Luigi doesn't care - that's his special ability. He grew a third lung somewhere between his ribcages and it gives him the ability to breathe in space apparently. It's hardish to prove whether or not having an extra lung makes you breathe in space better, because for some reason scientists are kind of wary about trying that out. Tsch, chickens.
YOU FRIGGIN HORSE
Panicking is what being a man's all about.
You wish you could kill ghosts with silk. That's the American dream.
(To the ghosts:) You friggin spheres - beachballs! That's right, I just treated you beachballs, because that's what you friggin are!
Don't pull your tongue out at strangers! That's rude and unsightly!
Everyone has Football Charlies in their intestines, that's a medicinal fact. ("Intestines" rhymes with "lines," "medicinal" is "medicine-al.")
There's probably something good in there, so I'm not gonna get it. That's how raocow works.
Pipes aren't reliable floors. Remember that next time you're reconstructing your house for some reason.
STOP DYING! GOD!
Tacos were invented during Jesus Christ's reign over Mesopotamia.
HITTING THINGS AT RANDOM, HOPING FOR THE BEST
CHIPMUNK TIEM
Oh, curses, Santa Claus! Why must you poison our life so?
The Milky Cheese of the Moon - it sounds like a totally awesome metal song, but it's not.
Fungus McCloud was the one who originally discovered Newfoundland, but when we were about to give him his medal he kind of declined. He was a really really humble guy. A smart guy. He was a good pool player too. I had a lot of fun with him back in the 1700s, from whence I came. You know, you remember, I said that before - I kind of got lost in time there, and suddenly BAM, here I am in two thousand and something and playing video games.
With the power of imagination, you can do anything. You can be a rainbow. You can be a clown. You can kill a thousand sheep and not be mortally repressed.
Go eat a friggin' cow.
That's an important part of a complete breakfast, like cheerios, and canned desert things.
We are back in the great nature state and the astral thingies are having their revenge.
Ever higher! One day we might run out of oxygen, but Luigi doesn't care - that's his special ability. He grew a third lung somewhere between his ribcages and it gives him the ability to breathe in space apparently. It's hardish to prove whether or not having an extra lung makes you breathe in space better, because for some reason scientists are kind of wary about trying that out. Tsch, chickens.
