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I have this cheap all-plastic point-n-shoot 35mm camera lying around the house - I got it back in high school because I wanted to take pictures at Prom and it matched my dress and was only $5. Now I have a real camera and I doubt I will ever use El Cheapo again, so I want to take it apart and purposefully warp the lens so I can take fucked-up pictures with it. The lens is probably made of plastic, thus not too incredibly hard to warp - anybody have any idea how I could go about getting it to screw itself up?

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We took the camera apart, removed the lens and held it over a candle flame until it was warped. Justin also carved a ditch along one edge of it using a heated screwdriver. We're going to go to the discount grocery, where there were boxes upon boxes of expired 200-speed Canadian-marketed Kodak film for sale for a dollar (I forget whether it was a dollar apiece or a dollar for two) and run one roll through the Fucked Up Camera to see what our fucking-up did to it and to test whether the colors in the expired film are still true. If they are, we're gonna bring a few rolls to Disney with us for any outdoor color photography we decide to do on film instead of digital.

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::does a little dance and chants in a sing-song voice::

Justin went to the Home Show today and he brought me home some swag! I got a yardstick and two coffee mugs and a screwdriver and a pen and two first aid kits and two sewing kits and a pencil sharpener and a level and a can cozy and two booklets about paint colors and a set of plastic samples of colors of window shutters! Yay!

Yesterday we went to the city park in Kilgore which was a WPA project in the early '30s done at the same time and under the same direction and funding program as the public library and but in a completely different style. It's all rough rock and arched bridges and low stone walls with built-in seats. Also playground equipment both modern and retro; there is a very tall rocket ship made out of tubes with a slide coming out of it. We took photos. I was learning how to work with black and white and Justin was learning how to use his new Yashica Mat twin lens reflex camera thingy.

When I am walking on the sidewalk, if I happen to look down, I start having this compulsion NOT to step on the cracks. Stepping on the cracks feels uneven and wrong. I only ever feel this way if I actually happen to look down, it never occurs to me first. Anybody else do this?

When Justin tries to lick or tickle or otherwise do something to my pudgy little tummy, I emit this squeak that sounds like echolocation. I told him that this is because I was in training with a Penguin Tactical Forces unit when they learned sonar from a killer whale. The orca learned it from a dolphin, and taught the penguins because it is a renegade vegetarian orca (penguins are friends, not food). The penguins couldn't learn it directly from a dolphin because the penguins don't swim far enough north to meet the dolphins. But now the penguins know echolocation and they can use it to keep themselves safe from attacks from their natural enemies. Right now there is a PTF squadron attempting to learn how to operate machine guns without opposable thumbs so that they can use their echolocation skills offensively as well as defensively, but they've not getting along very well with it and they're considering moving on to grenades.