titusnowl: (fight for the splendour)
Warhammer 40k original characters: Fireteam Errant Valour, a unit of the Imperial Guard roughly equivalent to a squad of Army Rangers.
Warnings: character death

Read more... )
titusnowl: (duel)
BATTLE OF SPIDER BATH PART 2: THE AFTERMATH
=OR=
A SHAKESPEAREAN SPIDER DRAMA


Went in bathroom. There is a second, smaller spider in tub. It is already dead, drowned in a bit of water that didn't drain out. This was not there when I battled Shelob. A widower, unable to carry on alone? PERHAPS.

I show no remorse as I nudge the corpse down the drain.
titusnowl: (fight for the splendour)
THE BATTLE OF SPIDER BATH, 6TH MAY 2011. IMPERIAL FORCES TRIUMPHANT.

Huge fuckoff spider in bathtub. Like, Australian style, huge fuckoff spider. Had the kind of legs that looks like it can jump. I hate jumping spiders. Francis does not hate anything as much as I hate jumping spiders. I can handle a spider that doesn't jump. I can allow a standard, small, non-jumping spider to live; they take care of other pests and are generally polite enough to stay the fuck out of sight. I cannot suffer the jumping spider to live. At the same time I'm kind of terrified of trying to kill them, because I have a distinct memory of the time we discovered that my father's lean-to shed was infested with wolf spiders, I tried to step on one, and it jumped onto my leg and ran over my body. No. That is not okay. That is never okay.

So I was faced with a quandary. Cannot suffer spider to live. Afraid to attack spider. Justin's asleep in next room, but I can't wake another dude up just to stomp a spider for me. Had to man up. It is a quirk of my psyche that when I have a hard time talking myself into doing something, being given a direct order to get that thing done enables me to overcome my fears. Couple of friends obliged in giving said order. Manned the fuck up about it, just as keikaku.

Wanted a ranged weapon, as no matter how manup I am, I will not attempt to step on a spider that might be a jumping one if there's any other way around it. Best thing I could find was the metal baseball bat I keep next to the door. It's flat on the end, I could poke with that.

First blow, spider moved. Pulled bat back, spider was dangling from it by length of web. On bright side, wasn't jumping! Still, not yet dead. Swung spider around to get it directly behind end of bat, flattened bat against inside of tub. Retracted bat. Spider on tub, but still trying to crawl away. Third blow finished him.

Metal bat on inside of tub: incredibly noisy. Am amazed Justin managed to sleep through it.

Feels simultaneously anticlimactic and accomplished. All that drama for one dead spider.

Corpse barely fit through the thing in the drain.

PARTY LICH

Dec. 25th, 2010 11:50 am
titusnowl: (Default)


http://bibliodyssey.blogspot.com/2007/10/totentanz-blockbook.html

I look at these pictures, and what I see is NPC: Party Lich. He wants people to party with.  The adventuring party can of course opt to kill him on sight because he's a lich and therefore evil according to How The World Of D&D Works. If you do so, you get his magical vuvuzela (uncharm spell: drives people away when you play it). Also the town is appreciative and you get XP and all that.  If you DON'T opt to kill him, it turns out he was only there to try and invite you to this TOTES MAGOATS RADICAL party he was throwing at his house. He throws these all the time and hires a dj and everything but nobody ever shows up. :C If you go, he'll be so thrilled to finally have a bro that he'll give you the magical vuvuzela as a gift, and afterward he'll be bros 4 lyfe and will help you out - he's got all kinds of arcane magical ingredients and shit just lying around his kitchen that he's not doing anything with, sure you can have 'em bro!

PARTY LICH
titusnowl: (tf2 pyro)
So I like picking up crappy 1960s romance novels, and I got this one that is like SUPER GOFFIK. It is "Orphan of the Shadows" by Paula Minton. The main character is an orphan whose father was a Nazi. Her non-Nazi uncle (dad's brother) and his wife took her in and raised her like she was their own. The heroine spends all her time doing pottery and angsting about how terrible it was that her father was a Nazi.

This is the uncle's first appearance:
Otto Miller stood framed in the doorway, hands in his pockets. He was six feet tall, and at fifty-five he was still wiry and sinewy. His black hair, heavily streaked with grey, retained a youthful curl over one side of his high-vaulted forehead. His mouth was thin and firm, his chin deeply cleft, with a tiny jagged scar disappearing under it all along the left jaw line. His brows were extremely thin and short, giving an accentuated prominence to his large, widely spaced, grey eyes set on either side of the pronounced bridge of a strong aquiline nose. He wore riding boots, khaki trousers and a light blue blazer over a khaki shirt - his customary attire.
And then the girl wants to take a trip to Europe and her uncle is way down on the idea and doesn't want her to go. OBVIOUSLY it's going to turn out that he's afraid she will discover the truth: HE was the Nazi, and he framed his brother for it so he could escape!

And this book was written in 1965, so obviously after the girl finds this out her uncle has to go into hiding, so he takes up a job as a mercenary by 1968. There. I've solved TF2.
titusnowl: (bond d'anger)
RAUM I BLAME YOU THE SIMS SHIT IS ALL YOUR FAULT

so I spent like the last seven hours finding and downloading shit and then graphing this out on a piece of paper and then building THE MOONBASE

it is not as spyfi as it should be but i had to work with what i found sooooooo

screencaps )

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titus n. owl

February 2015

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