titusnowl: (penguin making crazy WTF eye)
[personal profile] titusnowl
At least once a week we get some idiot on the phone or in the store (and a different idiot every time, too) wanting us to make a photo I.D. We have to ask why, of course, because we HAVE been authorized to do the photo IDs for the community college's EMT training program... but invariably the answer is...
I've lost my license, and...
  • I need to cash a check.
  • The pool hall down the road won't let you in if you're under 21.
  • I need to get on an airplane and they don't let you on without a photo ID anymore.
  • I want to buy a pack of cigs/a six-pack of Shiner Bock.


Let's sum up the problems with this, shall we?
  1. We have no way of knowing you are who you are. You could be Osama bin fuckin' Laden, and come in here and say "I need a photo ID, my name is Nigel Babbington and I was born on July 18 1979."
  2. It's NOT going to be a legal ID. They WILL NOT let you buy alcohol, enter a bar, or cash a check with it - and if you tried to board a plane with it, you'd probably end up in a little room without your clothes and with the security officer searching all your crevices.
  3. It's not like it's going to fool anyone anyway. Really, now, who would be so stupid as to believe accept as legal a square of paper with a name and date typed on it in Times New Roman 12-point, with a photo trimmed out of a 4x5 sheet of Polaroid film glued to it, and cheap plastic lamination that has to be cut with a 1/4" border to prevent it from coming unsealed?


Yet they'll go round and round with you on it.

this may or may not be crossposted to mock_the_stupid

Date: 2004-01-28 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geobabe1.livejournal.com
I had a woman come in once and wanted me to reduce a color photo so she could make an airline ID with it. Holy hell. She stormed out after I refused.

Date: 2004-01-28 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-moonshiner.livejournal.com
dude, I lost my license too. Can you make one for me that says I'm 25? I need to rent a car.

Date: 2004-01-29 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davew0071.livejournal.com
Why argue with them? You're not responsible for the fact that it isn't a legal ID and won't get them what they want. Your job is to provide the customer with a photo ID for the standard price your store charges.

I suggest you make the ID, collect their money, and as you hand them their purchase, tell them, "You understand that this isn't a legal ID, and you can't (cash a check, board a plane, get a tattoo, buy alcohol, tobacco or firearms, rent a car) with it?"

They may get pissed off, but just shrug and tell them they wanted a photo ID, they got one. Whether it's valid or not is not your concern.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 08:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chikkiboo.livejournal.com
Store policy is not to do 'em unless they're for one of the few places that've authorized us to provide them. There was some sort of potential legal trouble before I got hired, apparently.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 09:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davew0071.livejournal.com
Ah. That makes a difference.

In that case, tell them you can't, since it's against store policy.

Re:

Date: 2004-01-29 09:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chikkiboo.livejournal.com
But I NEED it! I have to go cash my check and buy my plane ticket and go fly to California to be with my dying aunt! YOU PEOPLE ARE EVIL! I'M WRITING TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AND TELLING THEM YOU ARE DENYING ME MY CIVIL RIGHTS!

Date: 2004-01-29 09:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davew0071.livejournal.com
Blow it out your ass, fuckwad.

(Okay, I know you can't say that, but nobody's stopping you from thinking it)

Actually, you should reply in a very calm voice, "Well, you do what you feel you have to do. But I still am not authorized to make this photo ID."

Date: 2004-01-29 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] terracinque.livejournal.com
To be fair, I think you'd probably recognize Osama bin Laden.

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