a sociological theory
Jul. 22nd, 2004 12:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
titusnowlWe got a letter in our inboxes at work ordering us to greet every customer within 30 seconds, and informing us that if we do not say "hello" or "how are you doing" before we say "how can I help you" we will be written up. The last sentence of this was "You have to treat them how you'd like to be treated." The problem with this is that I do NOT want to be greeted when I walk into a store. In fact, I'd prefer that store clerks ignore me until I initiate contact.
You can't go around acknowledging everyone around you. There are too many people! Although I think that's definitely a northern/southern thing. That's how *I* feel about it, and how most of the Yankees I know also feel. Most Southerners, on the other hand, expect to be greeted even by complete strangers, and go out of their way to be warm and friendly to people they don't necessarily know, at least not well.
Since I am all about the crackpot theories, I surmised that this is due to a difference in societies spanning at least a couple hundred years. Historically the south has been less densely populated, whereas the north is in general rather crowded. When there are fewer people, it is easier to acknowledge every one.
Also, where there are lots of people in a small space, each person's ACTUAL physical "zone" is necessarily smaller, but the PREFERRED comfort zone becomes larger. I do not like people to be within arm's length of me. If I can stretch out my arm and touch you with my fingers, you are too close. Southerners in my experience like to stand right next to you, and if you edge away they think you're being rude.
I drew a thingy about this last point.
This is a bird's-eye view of a crowded sidewalk in a Northern city. You are the black dot in the middle. The light blue circle is your preferred comfort zone. The people in red are inside of your comfort zone. Therefore, the only thing you can possibly do is completely ignore them. They do not exist to you. At any given moment, about half the people you are capable of seeing are inside the comfort zone, and therefore do not exist. To acknowledge the existence of the people within your comfort zone would be to overwhelm yourself with sensory input and societal pressures, therefore a polite fiction that you are alone on the sidewalk (as is each of them) is developed and maintained. The green dots are people who are near the outskirts of your comfort zone. These people may be acknowledged if you know them. You could carry on a conversation with these people, because you are all outside of one another's zones. The red dot people cannot be spoken to because you are all in one another's zones, and the polite fiction must be maintained.
The blue dot can't be spoken to because he's too goddamn far away.
That is my sociological theory.
I came up with this while trying to explain why yankess, myself included, seem hardwired to ignore people. I think it's a population density thing, as I stated above. When the number of people around you surpasses the number of people you can actually know well, it's easier to just ignore everybody than to try to acknowledge anybody.
You can't go around acknowledging everyone around you. There are too many people! Although I think that's definitely a northern/southern thing. That's how *I* feel about it, and how most of the Yankees I know also feel. Most Southerners, on the other hand, expect to be greeted even by complete strangers, and go out of their way to be warm and friendly to people they don't necessarily know, at least not well.
Since I am all about the crackpot theories, I surmised that this is due to a difference in societies spanning at least a couple hundred years. Historically the south has been less densely populated, whereas the north is in general rather crowded. When there are fewer people, it is easier to acknowledge every one.
Also, where there are lots of people in a small space, each person's ACTUAL physical "zone" is necessarily smaller, but the PREFERRED comfort zone becomes larger. I do not like people to be within arm's length of me. If I can stretch out my arm and touch you with my fingers, you are too close. Southerners in my experience like to stand right next to you, and if you edge away they think you're being rude.
I drew a thingy about this last point.
This is a bird's-eye view of a crowded sidewalk in a Northern city. You are the black dot in the middle. The light blue circle is your preferred comfort zone. The people in red are inside of your comfort zone. Therefore, the only thing you can possibly do is completely ignore them. They do not exist to you. At any given moment, about half the people you are capable of seeing are inside the comfort zone, and therefore do not exist. To acknowledge the existence of the people within your comfort zone would be to overwhelm yourself with sensory input and societal pressures, therefore a polite fiction that you are alone on the sidewalk (as is each of them) is developed and maintained. The green dots are people who are near the outskirts of your comfort zone. These people may be acknowledged if you know them. You could carry on a conversation with these people, because you are all outside of one another's zones. The red dot people cannot be spoken to because you are all in one another's zones, and the polite fiction must be maintained.
The blue dot can't be spoken to because he's too goddamn far away.
That is my sociological theory.
I came up with this while trying to explain why yankess, myself included, seem hardwired to ignore people. I think it's a population density thing, as I stated above. When the number of people around you surpasses the number of people you can actually know well, it's easier to just ignore everybody than to try to acknowledge anybody.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 03:36 am (UTC)I've never really in been in the South (ISTR spending a few days in VA when I was 11 or 12...), but I've noticed a certain faux friendliness, especially in New England, that I can do without. The stereotypical "Hi, my name is Bob, I'll be your waiter tonight" sort of thing. OTOH, a simple, "Hi, how are you?" that acknowledges my existence (and presence) in a store is welcome (how many times have you read something on the order of "I walked in, and the clerks completely ignored me"?)
Outside of major cities, and the BoWash corridor, the North has never really been that densely populated either.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-22 08:52 am (UTC)I agree
Date: 2004-07-23 07:54 am (UTC)I didn't notice this level of invasive friendliness in Dallas, but once I got out to East Texas, it just seems like I've landed on another planet.