KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE

[titusnowl]

owl: i would pay $7 to sit in a movie theater and just watch 2 hours of explosions and random fires
Zombie: man I was so pissed
Zombie: in the UK
SilentHouse: Owl, I would make a movie like that for you.
Zombie: it had a different title
SilentHouse: It would have to have some awesome name.
SilentHouse: like
owl: no plot
owl: no love interest
Zombie: what was Die Hard 4 called in the US?
YlleYlleYlle: suck
SilentHouse: KILLDIE XTREEM
owl: live free or die hard i think
Zombie: that's it
Zombie: in the UK it was just DIE HARD 4
owl: no plot, no love interest, MAYBE we can have like jason statham be in it but all he does is drive a car REALLY FAST through the middle of hte fires
Zombie: should have been LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD DUN DUN DUN
owl: while things explode around him
(E)udevie: oh drunken flying demoman
(E)udevie: love that movie
YlleYlleYlle: in sweden it was dö hårt
Rabbit: bed for me before i die
Rabbit: night zombie, charshy et al
YlleYlleYlle: die hard?
Zombie: aww
Zombie: Night Rabbit!
YlleYlleYlle: good night
Zombie: see ya tomorra
Rabbit: and you
SilentHouse: KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE
Rabbit left chat.
SilentHouse: More action and explosions than any other movie, guarenteed!
SilentHouse: and the announcer sounds like he's been smoking since he was 2
YlleYlleYlle: awesome
owl: the trailers don't have any explosions or fire in them because you don't want ot psoil the movie
owl: the trailers are just
owl: a black screen
owl: with the title
owl: and the announcer talking over it
YlleYlleYlle: and the head character
SilentHouse: like maybe two little snippets of a car going really fast.
owl: and then like a really brief shot of jason statham spinning out a car and jumping out the window and flipping us the bird
owl: and then black with the box office date
SilentHouse: and you would be all FUCK YEAH I WANNA SEE THAT MOVIE
YlleYlleYlle: and it would be the most epic birdflipping ever
YlleYlleYlle: and you'll see an explosion in the background but you canät hear it
SilentHouse: Double deuces off the hood of the car with bright glow from firebomb explosion
owl: dude i would like camp out in front of the theatre for that movie
Zombie: man what's with these like, castle and mountain maps in the flying demoman video. AWESOME
SilentHouse: And there would totally be a sequel.
Zombie: also the music is Weezer, I am so happy
owl: KILLDIE XTREEM 2: BLAZE OF EVEN MORE FIRE
SilentHouse: And they'd show the trailer for the sequel before KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE
SilentHouse: so you'd already be pumped for the sequel.
YlleYlleYlle: aaahhh
owl: and i'd just
owl: stay in the theatre
owl: and live tehre
owl: until the sequal came out
owl: watching KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE over and over
YlleYlleYlle: and it takes like a year
YlleYlleYlle: and you'll live off popcorn on the floor
Zombie: hahaha
YlleYlleYlle: and other candies people drop
YlleYlleYlle: you'd be famous
SilentHouse: KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE the 2-Disc Special Edition DVD
Zombie: you'd end up like gollum
Zombie: MY PRECIOUS
SilentHouse: The 3-disc Directors cut
SilentHouse: and the 5-disc Collectors Edition
owl: includes a making of video which includes shots of things catching on fire that weren't supposed to be on fire
Zombie: hunched over, sculking between the seats
SilentHouse: And the director's commentary would be random stories about how a squirrel chewed through a propane tank at 2 AM
owl: and a commentary track with jason statham talking about god only knows what in his hilarious what-is-he,-Cockney? accent
Mentlegen The Traitorous Swine: I'm going to bed now <3 night all
Zombie: night 'gen!
owl: night mentlegen
SilentHouse: night mentlegen
YlleYlleYlle: godnight
Zombie: see ya later man
SilentHouse: There would be deleted scenes of things catching on fire and exploding in slow motion.
owl: (an entire graduating class of pyros going to see it on opening day and laughing amongst themselves at how lolfire they must look :V)
SilentHouse: And a blooper reel
YlleYlleYlle: I just realized mentelgen is gentlemen
Zombie: :\ when did I start calling everyone 'man'? WOMANS
Mentlegen The Traitorous Swine disconnected.
Charshy: MAGGOTS
YlleYlleYlle: MGETS
Zombie: COCKS
YlleYlleYlle: fack
owl: "in this scene if you look off to the right that's actually a row of houses off the set that just happened to be on fire at the same time"
Zombie: :U
YlleYlleYlle: GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS
SilentHouse: "We got lucky with that shot."
YlleYlleYlle: haha
SilentHouse: "It took 17 takes to get Jason Statham to do the epic double-deuce off the hood of the car shot."
SilentHouse: Half the blooper reel is Statham falling off the hood of the car.
YlleYlleYlle: actually he nailed it on the first shot but it was so cool they had to do it again
SilentHouse: "We made him do it 27 times in total, actually."
SilentHouse: "feckin' awesome."
YlleYlleYlle: "c'mon one more time"
SilentHouse: And there would be a whole line of KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE action figures
YlleYlleYlle: I would buy them and put them in questionable positions
SilentHouse: and a tie-in with McDonalds and their crappy ass kids meal toys.
SilentHouse: and the $15 cardboard face digital watch.
SilentHouse: And of course all the theaters would have a special collectors edition super-mega-jumbo popcorn bucket.
YlleYlleYlle: awesome
SilentHouse: And then you go on eBay and they're selling pieces of burnt styrofoam from the set.
YlleYlleYlle: and ashesh
SilentHouse: "This Burnt Styrofoam is a one-of-a-kind collector's piece from the movie KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE"
YlleYlleYlle: HEY I'M BROWSING FANFICTION.NET
SilentHouse: Don't even try to get your hands on the supermega props.
SilentHouse: NOOOOOO NOT THE PIT
YlleYlleYlle: I WONDER WHAT MAGIC LIES HERE
SilentHouse: Somehow, I can see there being questionable fic of KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE on ff.net
YlleYlleYlle: there's like fanfiction of playing cards
Zombie: and then ff.net does a cull on the KX fanfiction, because it's just too intense
SilentHouse: Where 14-year-old girls write Ya-Oh-Eei about Jason Stratham's character.
SilentHouse: And then the other half which is just taking the movie further with gore.
YlleYlleYlle: it's oc's and angst slash as far the eye can see
Charshy: For a moment I read that and was like "Is that a new card game"
Charshy: damn Yu-gi-oh
YlleYlleYlle: haha
YlleYlleYlle: I fucking love mary sue's
SilentHouse: And then they spam DevArt with their KX plushies isn't it kawaaiii
SilentHouse: and then KXchan pops up.
owl: silent
owl: let's write some
owl: KILLDIE XTREEM: BLAZE OF FIRE
owl: fic
owl: right
owl: now
owl: can anyone here right good TERRIBLE FANFIC
owl: maybe we can do a crossover
YlleYlleYlle: and the main is in love with the boyishly handsome sidekick
Charshy: I'd like to think I FAIL at writing terrible fic ;D
Zombie: you know that, one day, in the wee hours of the morning
SilentHouse: I say TF2/KDX:BoF
Zombie: KXchan is going to happen
YlleYlleYlle: holy shit
SilentHouse: KXchan must happen.
Charshy: STOP ENCOURAGING THEM ZOMBIE
owl: jason statham's character's name is CHARLIE MANHUGE
Zombie: MANHUGE
Zombie: HAHAHAHA
SilentHouse: and then we can all draw/write our interpretations of the movie
Zombie: oh man I totally lolled too loud then
owl: ...gunfag has some webspace i bet we could put a chan on it :V
YlleYlleYlle: Sir Punchanderson Beffyarms
SilentHouse: And the obligatory female character is Jenny Titbars
owl: but she catches on fire in the first third of the movie
YlleYlleYlle: he has a kid too
owl: and then explodes
SilentHouse: as played by some female porn star.
owl: because she was a robot
owl: there's a dog
owl: the dog is the sidekick
YlleYlleYlle: Woofles
owl: the dog's name is DOG
SilentHouse: It's a Jack Russel
owl: he just shouts at it
owl: DOG
owl: GET IN THE CAR
Zombie has changed their name to CHARLIE MANHUGE.
owl: THINGS ARE EXPLOIN"
owl: *EXPLODIN'
YlleYlleYlle: A LION
owl: and the dog goes woof
owl: and gets in the car
YlleYlleYlle: IT'S ON FIRE
SilentHouse: And jumps through the window.
owl: and CHARLIE MANHUGE gets in the car and peels out
owl: at one point the dog catches fire
owl: and CHARLIE MANHUGE just GLARES at it
owl: and the force of his glare puts the dog out
YlleYlleYlle: and flips a bird to burning houses
CHARLIE MANHUGE: would to dog woof like in Manos: The Hands of Fate?
engineer: oh god mom i won't want to vaccuum go away D:
YlleYlleYlle: gay sex
SilentHouse: The villain has an eyepatch.
YlleYlleYlle: and is german
SilentHouse: and is Dr. General McEvilson
owl: the villain's superpower is making things catch fire by glaring at them
owl: so he and charlie get in a staredown
owl: both staring at the dog
SilentHouse: and he has the obligatory white poofy cat.
owl: there's like a ten-minute shot where it cuts between Dr General McEvilson glaring at the dog
YlleYlleYlle: wich he strokes with his clawed hand
owl: and the dog smoking slightly and whimpering
owl: and Charlie Manhuge sweating bullets
owl: and the dog stopping smoking and wagging its tale
SilentHouse: Herr Manhuge, I accept your challenge
owl: *tail
YlleYlleYlle: "woof!"
SilentHouse: And then there is a massive explosion
YlleYlleYlle: and stands on hi hindlegs
YlleYlleYlle: *his
SilentHouse: And the obligatory running away from the explosion in slow motion shot.
YlleYlleYlle: "HRYUUUUUGAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
YlleYlleYlle: and also carchases
engineer: ffffffffffffffff brb iwk
SilentHouse: and all of the gay fiction is about Charlie Manhuge and Dr. General McEvilson
CHARLIE MANHUGE: they're my otp
YlleYlleYlle: it would be so hot
SilentHouse: and there's like maybe one fic about That Black Guy.
SilentHouse: That Black Guy is played by Will Smith.
SilentHouse: And dies within the first 10 minutes of the film.
CHARLIE MANHUGE: naw, Chris Rock
SilentHouse: Okay Chris Rcok
SilentHouse: *Rock
SilentHouse: "YOU CAN'T DO THAT CHARLIE
SilentHouse: "YOU'LL EXPLODE DA EARTH"
owl: the black guy's name is Jefferson A. Jefferson
CHARLIE MANHUGE: and in the movie his character is called Chris Cock
owl: it is fandom that the A stands for Airplane
CHARLIE MANHUGE: haha okay Jefferson Airplane
YlleYlleYlle: Jeffersson J. Jeffersson
SilentHouse: Jefferson A. Jefferson.
YlleYlleYlle: no
YlleYlleYlle: J
CHARLIE MANHUGE: No, A.
owl: CHARLIE, YOU WHACK?  BRUTHA CAN'T BLOW UP NO ERF
SilentHouse: His official middle name is Jet Aeroplane.
YlleYlleYlle: FUCK YOU BITCH J
owl: JEFFERSON J. A. JEFFERSON
SilentHouse: YES OWL
YlleYlleYlle: OK FINE
SilentHouse: and then EXPLOSION
owl: there's jeff/charlie
owl: and somewhere on ff.net
owl: there is
owl: jeff/DOG
SilentHouse: black gibs flying everywhere
owl: :C
YlleYlleYlle: oh noce
SilentHouse: With anthropomorphic DOG
YlleYlleYlle: sandwich tiem you guise
SilentHouse: which has tits even though Dog was clearly a boy dog.
YlleYlleYlle: I have to walk stairs to get to the kitchen
owl: also the car
CHARLIE MANHUGE: and even worse, there's furry porn of Dog
owl: it's something fuckawesome like a 67 mustang
SilentHouse: There is Dog/Mustang.
SilentHouse: Somewhere there is dog/mustang.
YlleYlleYlle: well gee I'll miss you too
owl: the car's name is FUCKYEAH ROOSEVELT
owl: ylle surely you won't die on the stairs
SilentHouse: And Charlie uses the phrase TR
owl: "HOLY SHIT," SAID CHARLIE MANHUGE AS HE STEPPED OUT ONTO HIS PORCH TO FETCH THE MORNING PAPER.  IT WAS WELL AFTER NOON, BUT CHARLIE WAS SO AWESOME THAT HE ALWAYS SLEPT IN.  HE WAS UNSHAVEN SO HE WAS MANLY AND STUBBLY.  HE WAS WEARING A PAIR OF BOXER SHORTS AND BUNNY SLIPPERS.  HE LOOKED PISSED OFF.
owl: "HOLY SHIT," HE SAID AGAIN.  HE DIDN'T SOUND SURPRISED.  THE REASON HE WAS SAYING "OH SHIT" WAS THAT THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET WAS ON FIRE.
owl: AGAIN.
SilentHouse: FOR THE THIRD TIME THAT DAY
engineer: AND IT WAS SUNDAY
owl: CHARLIE MANHUGE WENT INSIDE.  SHORTLY AFTER THAT HE STEPPED OUTSIDE AGAIN.  THIS TIME HE WAS WEARING A BULLETPROOF VEST, SOME REALLY NICE JEANS, A BLACK TSHIRT, FUCKAWESOME MOTORCYCLE BOOTS AND STILL STUBBLY.  HE HAD A FLAMETHROWER, SIX GUNS AND A CUP OF COFFEE.  HE LIT A CIGARETTE WITH THE POWER OF HIS MIND.
owl: "WELL, DOG," HE SAID
owl: DOG WOOFED
owl: "LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE ON FIRE AGAIN."
engineer: no the dog's name is dogmeat
owl: SUDDENLY CHARLIE MANHUGE'S FRIEND JEFFERSON J. A. JEFFERSON CAME AROUND THE CORNER.
owl: JEFFERSON J. A. JEFFERSON WAS CARRYING A WATERMELON AND A FORTY-OUNCE CAN OF BEER.
owl: OR SOMETHING.  NO NOT BEER IT WAS
owl: MALT LIQUOR
owl: ANYWAY
owl: ALSO SOME FRIED CHICKEN?
owl: "YO YO YO WHAT THE FUCK CHUCK," SAID JEFFERSON J. A. JEFFERSON, BECAUSE THE FILMMAKER'S NEGRO STEREOTYPES WERE SOMEWHAT OUT OF DATE
owl: GAY SEX ENSUED