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Nov. 13th, 2009 08:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
titusnowl"What, you get tired of hanging out with your Hufflepuffs?"
Hardly a glance from the boy on the bed, surrounded by library books and half-finished scrolls. "Say what you will about where I prefer to spend my time, Breake, but it is easier to work in zere. Zey'll fetch quills and t'ings for a fellow, you know."
"So how's their door work - d'you just beg and look pathetic, or what?"
"Portrait 'as to recognize you. You wouldn't fetch me anosser quill, would you? I've a fresh packet of Quisling's Qover-Upps in a bag in my trunk - "
"Ha!"
"Well, it's yours I'm doing at ze moment, so if you want Binns fussing at you because my counterfeiter's run dry and 'alfway t'rough your 'omework ze 'andwriting changes - "
"Pff, Binns. As if he'll notice."
"No refunds if 'e does, mind you. I really should 'ave stayed in 'ufflepuff 'til I was done."
"You really should've been in Hufflepuff the whole time."
"Your derision, my very dear friend, is undeserved. Besides, 'ow on eart' do you know ze entire 'ufflepuff t'ing isn't just some elaborate ruse - taking advantage of zeir 'ospitality and naivete whilst working myself up to pull ze confidence job of the decade, ze likes of which 'ogwarts 'as never seen?"
"You aren't, you wouldn't and you won't."
The slow, smirking look the boy sent over the top of the stack of books made his House-mate stop laughing in mid-snort, suddenly wondering.
---
The painting that guarded the entry to Hufflepuff wasn't a portrait at all, but a still life with fruit; and fruit can't recognize anyone, even when it's fruit in a magical painting - so much for veracity. All it took to get in was knowing it was there; so one lonely Slytherin with his arms full of books was able to enter, the great round door appearing and opening itself before him helpfully. He greeted each little 'puff he passed with an affectionate nickname, even the ones who didn't like him terribly much, and sat down in one of the overstuffed armchairs with a grateful sigh.
Two and a half cups of cocoa and quite a bit of side-chat later, he'd managed to finish the work he was doing, just in time for one of the huffiest of the Hufflepuffs to come in and stand in front of him, arms crossed.
"Martin, I've been hearing rumours."
Large, innocent blue eyes turned upward. "I suppose zere's no avoiding zat in a relatively small community, but one really shouldn't lend zem credence, don't you t'ink? Unless it's zose rumours about my pet Gryffindor, zose are entirely true. Well, most of zem are. Some of ze ossers are absolutely scandalous - 'e's eleven."
"'The greatest confidence job Hogwarts has ever seen'?"
Laughter, bright and amused. "O best beloved, zat particular little joke began wit' Cassius Breake. You're not going to believe a Slyzerin?"
At the way the girl's eyes narrowed in response, he only laughed harder. "One besides me, I mean. I'm only 'alf a Slyzerin, you know, everybody says so. Zat means I'm 'alf-trustwort'y, aren't I?"
She sighed. "You're the utter end. Did you drink up all our cocoa again?"
"Only what was offered me by my friends," he protested. "You can 'ave my 'alf-a-cup, if you like."
She took it and sat on the arm of his chair, still eyeing him dubiously.
"If you want to know ze secret," he said, voice pitched conspiratorially low and eyes glittering merrily, "ze greatest confidence job 'ogwarts 'as ever seen is actually ze successful infiltration of Slyzerin by an 'ufflepuff."
She rolled her eyes and swatted him. "Infiltrating anything is a Slythery thing to do."
"Badgers burrow into t'ings!" He gestured at the entries to the little tunnels toward the dormitories. "Burrowing is a sort of infiltration of ze ground, and what does one find when one digs? Worms! Which are, as everyone knows, a form of serpent, so it's all very proper and follows natural laws and t'ings."
"Whatever you say, Slytherin. Do you still need help with Astromancy? I'm free tomorrow night."
"You're actually offering to slizzer around wit' me? Be still, my 'eart!"
"I'll change my mind if you act like that."
"Never change a single t'ing, my dear," he said gallantly, "from your mind to your 'airstyle, and I shall forever adore - " She swatted him again, and he pulled away, laughing, to pick his books up before he stood. "Tomorrow night. Meet after supper? I'll 'ave to blow off my pet Gryffindor, but 'e can tag along wit' my pet Ravenclaw in my absence, which should suffice for bot' - "
"How many pets do you have?"
"'ow many people are zere in 'ufflepuff? Zat many plus two." He grinned cheekily. "Do I get a goodnight kiss before I 'ead back to serpentine isolation in ze cold and dreary dungeon of my proper 'ouse?"
"No. Shoo. Get out."
"A bientot, ma cherie ~ "
"And I know you're not half-Veela!"
Hardly a glance from the boy on the bed, surrounded by library books and half-finished scrolls. "Say what you will about where I prefer to spend my time, Breake, but it is easier to work in zere. Zey'll fetch quills and t'ings for a fellow, you know."
"So how's their door work - d'you just beg and look pathetic, or what?"
"Portrait 'as to recognize you. You wouldn't fetch me anosser quill, would you? I've a fresh packet of Quisling's Qover-Upps in a bag in my trunk - "
"Ha!"
"Well, it's yours I'm doing at ze moment, so if you want Binns fussing at you because my counterfeiter's run dry and 'alfway t'rough your 'omework ze 'andwriting changes - "
"Pff, Binns. As if he'll notice."
"No refunds if 'e does, mind you. I really should 'ave stayed in 'ufflepuff 'til I was done."
"You really should've been in Hufflepuff the whole time."
"Your derision, my very dear friend, is undeserved. Besides, 'ow on eart' do you know ze entire 'ufflepuff t'ing isn't just some elaborate ruse - taking advantage of zeir 'ospitality and naivete whilst working myself up to pull ze confidence job of the decade, ze likes of which 'ogwarts 'as never seen?"
"You aren't, you wouldn't and you won't."
The slow, smirking look the boy sent over the top of the stack of books made his House-mate stop laughing in mid-snort, suddenly wondering.
---
The painting that guarded the entry to Hufflepuff wasn't a portrait at all, but a still life with fruit; and fruit can't recognize anyone, even when it's fruit in a magical painting - so much for veracity. All it took to get in was knowing it was there; so one lonely Slytherin with his arms full of books was able to enter, the great round door appearing and opening itself before him helpfully. He greeted each little 'puff he passed with an affectionate nickname, even the ones who didn't like him terribly much, and sat down in one of the overstuffed armchairs with a grateful sigh.
Two and a half cups of cocoa and quite a bit of side-chat later, he'd managed to finish the work he was doing, just in time for one of the huffiest of the Hufflepuffs to come in and stand in front of him, arms crossed.
"Martin, I've been hearing rumours."
Large, innocent blue eyes turned upward. "I suppose zere's no avoiding zat in a relatively small community, but one really shouldn't lend zem credence, don't you t'ink? Unless it's zose rumours about my pet Gryffindor, zose are entirely true. Well, most of zem are. Some of ze ossers are absolutely scandalous - 'e's eleven."
"'The greatest confidence job Hogwarts has ever seen'?"
Laughter, bright and amused. "O best beloved, zat particular little joke began wit' Cassius Breake. You're not going to believe a Slyzerin?"
At the way the girl's eyes narrowed in response, he only laughed harder. "One besides me, I mean. I'm only 'alf a Slyzerin, you know, everybody says so. Zat means I'm 'alf-trustwort'y, aren't I?"
She sighed. "You're the utter end. Did you drink up all our cocoa again?"
"Only what was offered me by my friends," he protested. "You can 'ave my 'alf-a-cup, if you like."
She took it and sat on the arm of his chair, still eyeing him dubiously.
"If you want to know ze secret," he said, voice pitched conspiratorially low and eyes glittering merrily, "ze greatest confidence job 'ogwarts 'as ever seen is actually ze successful infiltration of Slyzerin by an 'ufflepuff."
She rolled her eyes and swatted him. "Infiltrating anything is a Slythery thing to do."
"Badgers burrow into t'ings!" He gestured at the entries to the little tunnels toward the dormitories. "Burrowing is a sort of infiltration of ze ground, and what does one find when one digs? Worms! Which are, as everyone knows, a form of serpent, so it's all very proper and follows natural laws and t'ings."
"Whatever you say, Slytherin. Do you still need help with Astromancy? I'm free tomorrow night."
"You're actually offering to slizzer around wit' me? Be still, my 'eart!"
"I'll change my mind if you act like that."
"Never change a single t'ing, my dear," he said gallantly, "from your mind to your 'airstyle, and I shall forever adore - " She swatted him again, and he pulled away, laughing, to pick his books up before he stood. "Tomorrow night. Meet after supper? I'll 'ave to blow off my pet Gryffindor, but 'e can tag along wit' my pet Ravenclaw in my absence, which should suffice for bot' - "
"How many pets do you have?"
"'ow many people are zere in 'ufflepuff? Zat many plus two." He grinned cheekily. "Do I get a goodnight kiss before I 'ead back to serpentine isolation in ze cold and dreary dungeon of my proper 'ouse?"
"No. Shoo. Get out."
"A bientot, ma cherie ~ "
"And I know you're not half-Veela!"
