titusnowl: (kiefer what)
"a mango, a javelin, and the recently-shed exoskeleton of a cicada"

The mango was a thing of beauty, with lush, delicious curves, plump and blushing, utterly nude. Gently, oh so gently, the javelin parted the mango's tender, yielding flesh and entered, sliding through the soft sweetness.  The mango's sticky love-juice flowed down the javelin's firm shaft as it pumped in and out, slowly at first, then faster, faster, in wanton ecstasy.  The exoskeleton just sort of sat there.



"a fancy toothpick, a cherry, and a piece of pineapple"

The toothpick was nervous. It had never been involved with two fruits at once. But the cherry, so round and red and enticing, and the pineapple, so angular yet luscious and exotically entrancing, longed for the toothpick's penetration. Fancy cellophane frill trembling slightly, the toothpick slid carefully into the pineapple, in and in and in and there - out through the other side; the pineapple rotated slowly on the toothpick's shaft as together they impaled the virgin cherry, and their juices mingled into a deliciously heady cocktail.



"martini"

The martini glass eyed the bottle of Gilbey's covetously, taking in its strong, handsome, clean-cut lines, its rakish angles, its sparkling contents. It longed for the gin to be poured into it, to fill it up until it could take no more, until they both spilled onto the table helplessly. But that bastard Vermouth always wanted in, and the glass was helpless to say no. As soon as the gin had finished pouring, the vermouth would follow, tainting the glass with its bitter fluid. Fucking guido.
titusnowl: (rock out)
Zabbers wrote a bit of tune, and I was trying to play it on my keyboard, and it Grew Into A Thing.

IM Conversation )
titusnowl: (bloody cavalry)
Title: Dolled Up
Characters: Simon'n'Roger
Summary: It is vitally important that Roger wear a dress.
Notes: For Jen, on account of an early-1950s Saint comic book cover we saw MONTHS ago; establishing a bit of fanon.

Read more... )
titusnowl: (denis leary fuck you)
And in case you weren't entirely convinced that somehow today I was possessed by the ghost of a 13-year-old Goth girl, I also wrote a vampire AU.  WTF. )
titusnowl: (light brigade)
So.  Erm.  *blushes, clasps hands behind back*  I seem to have written songfic to a My Chemical Romance track.  Apparently I've been wanting to write zombie death fic for a month now, and "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" came on, and this ensued.   P.S. it is like goth as fuck or something

Warning: Multiple character deaths.  Obviously.

And if I had the guts to put this to your head... )

Some meme.

Jun. 5th, 2007 11:00 pm
titusnowl: (wacky on the junk)
A mix of characters from various places.  Oh god, none of them are girls.
1. Psmith
2. Simon
3. Jim
4. Dan
5. Roger
6. Norman
7. Ianto
8. Marlowe
9. Lord Peter
10. Bart
11. Shep
12. Jeeves
and now we fuck with 'em )
titusnowl: (god save the queen)
It was Ianto's Cupcake Day.

The Queen had declared that everyone was to have a special Cupcake Day, and today was Ianto's.  His was first, because he was special!

His cupcake was perfect.  It was his favourite colour and his favourite flavour and it had hundreds-and-thousands on (hundreds-and-thousands were his favourite).  It came on a pretty little saucer without any nasty paper wrapping to peel off and stay stuck to the bottom so it got in your mouth.  The saucer was Ianto's second-favourite colour, so that it coordinated with the cupcake just so.

There was also tea.

Ianto smiled happily at his cupcake.  No one could ever be unhappy on their special Cupcake Day! 

When he ate the cupcake, it was delicious.  It was just the right size so that he was full up of cupcake and didn't get sad from wanting more and didn't get ill in his tum-tum from having too much.  Then someone else washed the saucer and the teacup for him!

On Owen's special Cupcake Day he got one that looked like a titty.  It had a frosting nipple on it.
Gwen's cupcake had two halves of a cookie stuck in it.  It was a fairy cake!  The good kind of fairy, too.  Also the sprinkles did not get stuck between her big old gap teeth.
Jack's cupcake had the frosting in the middle, and nobody knows why.
Tosh's cupcake had bright pink icing and it also had hundreds-and-thousands on.  Ianto and Tosh became best friends because they both liked hundreds-and-thousands on their cupcakes!
Myfanwy's cupcake was made out of ground beef, and it made everyone else slightly queasy, but it was okay, because it was Myfanwy's special Cupcake Day, and that was all that mattered.

Wasn't it awfully nice of the Queen to do that?
titusnowl: (Great War)
[livejournal.com profile] 3weasel : Wimsey vs. Wooster cage match!

Which wouldn't really be fair, unless Jeeves cheated (which he would), so Wimsey vs. Psmith would also be acceptable. Doesn't have the alliteration, though.


oh, what IS that trope
"old age and experience vs. youth and [something]"
although of course in a wimsey/psmith match it's age & experience vs. youth & just kind of hoping he can cry off because they go to the same club or something and why are we in this cage in the first place comrade this is all rather pointless don't you think
and wimsey vs wooster jeeves would get in on it somehow and bunter would find out and then jeeves & bunter would be fighting and then lord peter has a flashback and ends up curled up in a ball crying about the jerries
bertie in his irrepressible naiveté says something perfectly innocent that comes off as being About The War and that combined with the stress of the situation just makes poor lord peter drop his gentleman-scout's vademecum and wail about shells
titusnowl: (crank cunt)
It started out as Image Macro Time

4 Philip Marlowe: Private Eye macros )

And then it became LOL Marlowe Is Emo

1 Philip Marlowe: Private Emo macro )

And then it was LOL EVERYONE IS EMO

MY KIEFER ROMANCE?!?! EMO HOUSE!!!! )
titusnowl: (aquaman)


Jeffie:  I want to take a bath, but I want to have a smoke.  I could be like Marlowe and do both!
Justin: ... I suppose....
Jeffie:  Seriously he didn't have an ashtray in there.  Was he just ashing straight into the tub?
Justin:  I don't see why not.
Jeffie:  Because then he was soaking in cigarette ash!  Making himself redolent of it in an even more visceral way!
Justin:  They make soap out of ash.
Jeffie:  There's an intermediary step!
Justin:  Well, ash and fat.
*pause*
Jeffie:  Ouch.  Ice burn on Marlowe.

Profile

titusnowl: (Default)
titus n. owl

January 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728 293031 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 3rd, 2025 08:20 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios